Loyal, Useful, Disposable

Why even Trump’s most devoted enforcers—like Kristi Noem and Pam Bondi—never last

Caricature (?) of Pam Bondi from Flikr

By Monica Healy

You know that feeling when you learn some news and you start to get hopeful that it’s the beginning of something bigger? Yeah, that’s where I am today with the announcement that Trump is sending Pam Bondi packing.

Despite that feeling of hope, I’m not ready to pop the champagne quite yet.

Because in this administration, loyalty isn’t a safeguard—it’s a countdown clock.

It’s been nearly a month since Trump announced on March 5 that Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem would be out by the end of March. But instead of being completely ousted from the circle, Kristi Noem has been appointed as the Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas. Sure, it’s a totally made-up position, but still. As a Minnesotan who watched my state overrun by her thugs, I want that cosplay cowboy Barbie girl gone. Like GONE gone. We all deserve that. Minnesotans especially deserve that.

Having grown up in South Dakota, it was baffling to me watching the transformation of Kristi Noem from across the border in Minnesota. Most of the South Dakotans I know are pretty humble and down-to-earth. Granted, it’s not like I’m rubbing shoulders with state leadership on a daily basis, but I still don’t understand how she became this pageant-ready caricature of leadership after having grown up on a ranch near the tiny town of Hazel, SD.

It has become painfully obvious that in Trump’s world, optics are everything—and Kristi Noem leaned all the way in. Despite scandals involving her spending taxpayer money for dental work and the horrific self-own of writing about killing her own puppy, Noem was Trump’s darling. The regime and the MAGA base cheered her on when she posed for pictures in front of packed prison cells at CECOT—a notoriously torturous prison that can hold 40,000 in El Salvador.

Ironically, it may have been her vanity that played a role in her ultimate demise. When she finally appeared in front of the legislature for hearings, Noem was asked about $220 million that she spent on ads for the Department of Homeland Security in which she was prominently featured riding around the countryside on a horse encouraging immigrants to self-deport. She stated that Trump had signed off on that budget. Whether that was true and Trump didn’t like the optics, or she lied about it—she was out within days.

Of course, her replacement doesn’t inspire much confidence either. Senator Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma is the only lawmaker on Capitol Hill who doesn’t have at least a bachelor’s degree. And I’m sorry, but that lack of education shows up in his speech. During a Senate Appropriations Committee hearing, Mullin questioned the Secretary of Education about how the United States ranked nationally in math and reading in 1979.

“What was we ranked in reading and math in 1979?” Mullin asked.

“I’m sorry, what?” she replied.

He repeated, “What was we ranked nationally in math and reading in 1979?”

McMahon responded that the country was “very, very low on the totem pole.”

“We were number one in 1979,” Mullin replied.

I guess give him credit for committing to it?

The lack of education wouldn’t be so alarming if it weren’t paired with an obvious anger management issue. In 2023, Sen. Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma challenged Sean O’Brien, president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, to a fight during a tense Senate hearing. Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-VT) had to shout over the potential melee, “You are a United States Senator. Sit down!”

And during his confirmation hearings, Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) took issue with Mullin’s past comments and behavior, asking whether he saw violence as a way to solve problems. That’s when Mullin dropped the gem that he thought dueling was an acceptable way to resolve conflict. Paul then informed him that “dueling has been illegal for 170 years.”

So, yeah—not feeling great about Noem’s replacement.

And that’s the pattern: in a system built on loyalty and optics, competence isn’t required—and it’s certainly not rewarded.

While Noem’s exit came shortly after her hearings, Attorney General Pam Bondi managed to hang on longer despite her own disastrous performance. With her infamous “burn book” in front of her, Bondi blatantly refused to answer many questions, instead deriding those questioning her and eventually launching into a rant about the Dow being over 50,000—a moment that quickly became the butt of internet jokes that are still circulating today.

I remember speaking with a friend in January 2025 and despairing over Trump’s cabinet picks. My friend defended Pam Bondi as a nominee, arguing that she at least had the experience to be qualified. I argued, even then, that experience does not a cabinet member make—and I think we’ve all seen how that has turned out.

From stating in February 2025 that “the Epstein files are on my desk,” to July 2025 insisting that “there’s nothing to see here,” to ultimately covering for all of those pedophiles—disgusting, appalling, abhorrent, gross. Choose your adjective.

After her performance in those hearings, Democrats issued a subpoena for Bondi to testify under oath, scheduled for April 14, 2026. Some have speculated that her firing today is an effort to derail that process, but members of the House Oversight Committee said Thursday they will still fight to enforce their panel’s subpoena even after her removal as attorney general.

That little nugget offers more hope than the firing itself.

Despite his public-facing posts patting her on the back as a dutiful soldier, Trump is clearly unhappy with her performance. And while I don’t see things improving with either interim AG Todd Blanche—Trump’s personal attorney—or short-list pick Lee Zeldin, the current EPA administrator who seems content to dare climate change to smite the U.S. right fucking now, or the newest addition on the short list: Jeanine “can’t indict a ham sandwich” Pirro, Bondi was undeniably loyal. A dutiful soldier.

And if that level of loyalty isn’t enough to keep you in your job in this administration, woe to the person who takes her place.

So while I’m not ready to start my celebratory playlist—yes, there is a celebratory playlist for when he’s finally gone, no matter what form that takes—I am cautiously optimistic.

What we may be seeing is the first of the dominoes to fall.

It may take a while for others to follow, and longer still for the entire regime to crumble into the dustbin of history. I’m not under any illusions that things are about to get better. In fact, I fear the worst may still be ahead—which is a horrifying thought, because how much worse can it get? (Please don’t answer that.)

But the dominoes are in motion.

They may not fall quickly.

But I hope they fall hard.

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